


You Lost Me

by starktower



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Hurt Tony Stark, Multi, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Team Feels, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:47:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7027222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starktower/pseuds/starktower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I feel like our world's been infected,<br/>And somehow you left me neglected<br/>We've found our life's been changed<br/>Babe, you lost me                         </p><p>                               --You lost me, Christina Aguilera.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_‘How.’_

_‘How did it come to this?’_

_‘Was it worth it? ‘_

_‘Why is it so cold?’_

_‘Why can’t I move?’_

 

.

.

**Darkness**

.

.

 

Cold 

_‘Why am I so cold?’_

_‘Was it?’_

_‘was it worth it?’_

 

.

.

**Darkness**

.

.

 

I love you, dad … 

Love you, Mama…

Please don’t go…

Don’t get into that car…

Don’t take that road…

Watch out…

… Barnes?...

Barnes Stop, I am begging you, stop… … oh god Dad…

Mama **go now** … run …

… Please…no, not her…

Mama?... Dad?...

…

…

…

Silence

 

.

.

**Darkness**

.

.

He is my friend

So was I

 

 

Did you know?

I…

Did you know?

Yes

 

Do you even remember killing them?

I remember them all

 

Stand Down

I can do this all day

 

The shield clatters on the floor.

 

_‘Steve don’t go’_

 

Silence

 

_‘help’_

 

 

.

.

**Darkness**

.

.

 

Tony opened his eyes.

He couldn’t remember where he was, he wasn’t in any of his houses that’s for certain, the ceiling he was looking at was cracked, aged and blackened by dirt and … stony? Too much stony? _‘Is that even a word?’_ and … _’is that ice?’_

And just like that he remembered everything, like a switch was turned back on, he recalled everything that happened, from Pepper leaving him to Steve’s back walking away from him, and now he was lying on his back pinned down by his dead suit on the cold hard ground alone and scared, Tony didn’t even feel himself crying until he felt the tracks of his streaming tears starting to freeze.

“God, it’s so cold in here” said Tony and was startled by his own raw, broken voice that echoed through the room and it was hauntingly disturbing in the utter silence that reigned on the facility, apart from the howling wind that reminded him of the storm that was brewing inside of him, there was absolutely nothing.

There was absolutely no one.

Just Silence.

Alone.

_‘Tony’_ Pepper’s voice sounded so distant yet so close just like that time in Afghanistan

‘ _No, she’s gone, she left me and I can’t even be mad at her, but god does it hurt’_

Tony barely bit back a sob, he needed to get up _‘why, why would I go back? To whom should I go back, there’s no one, everyone is leaving me, maybe it’s time for me to go for good’_

_‘what about me asshole’_ Rhodey’s voice snapped him from his dark and disturbing pity party/ thoughts.   

“Oh god Rhodey” his eyes widened, he totally forgot about his best friend situation, he had to get up and go fix it, he **had** to.

With some effort that he wasn’t sure he had just moment prior, he began pushing himself off the ground but then Agonizing pain sliced right through him, his chest and ribs felt like they were being opened by an unsharpened knife, he wanted to take the suit off but he knew better, it was the only thing protecting him from freezing his ass off in the middle of nowhere, he gritted his teeth and tried to keep the images of ~~Steve~~ \- _no_ _Captain Rogers_ almost killing him at bay, he breathed through the pain and made his way out of this morbid shithole all the way hoping to find a Quinjet or anything, to go back home… and maybe go to a Hospital.

_‘Surely they’d leave something for me? Right?’_

As he got out of the facility, passing through those damn steel reinforced double doors he began looking for his ticket home _‘Surely they left something for me to return by? Right?’_

But _lo and behold_ they didn’t.

He couldn’t believe it, he was stuck here beaten half to death and broken inside-out, he would’ve laughed at his situation if not for the crippling fear that began to pummel it’s way to his heart at the realization that this was _it_ , this is where he was going to die, if not from the biting cold, it will be from what he was sure were broken ribs that sooner or later will puncture his lungs and cause them to collapse, or it will be because of the blood loss from his torso where a part of the suit embedded itself in his chest where _Captain_ _America_ smashed his shield through the suit’s arc reactor, right where he had surgery only three years ago, but no matter what way he died he was sure it will be one _hell_ of a painful end, maybe _this_ was his punishment, maybe this is what he deserved, to die the worst way possible for Tony.

 

Alone.

 

And as it dawned on Tony that he was really and utterly alone, nobody to hold his hand in his last moments, nobody to whisper sweet nothings while he waited for the sweet release of death, all the energy left him, he only managed to catch himself against a rock before he fell. 

_‘I am sorry Yinsen, guess I still have nothing’_

Tony didn’t have the force to go back to the bunker so he slid down to the icy ground and leaned his back against the rock and just closed his eyes until the pain subsided a little bit, he could feel the cold air seep in through open cracks of the suit mainly in on his chest and his side but he honestly couldn’t have cared less, maybe if he died of hypothermia it wouldn’t hurt as much as the other ways, _maybe_ he’ll die while sleeping, and with those morbid thoughts he laid his head against the rock, eyes still closed and began drifting to a hazy state.

.

.

 

* * *

.

. 

Tony watched the sun go down and disappear in the seemingly infinite line of the horizon.

.

.

Tony watched the stars dancing up in the sky, they don't judge him, they are just... there, waiting for the day that he'll go up higher than them, the day that he'll become one of them.

"Maybe that day is coming sooner than we thought" said Tony out loud to no-one in particular he just needed the loud silence to stop, so he talked about everything and nothing. 

The Stars are his only comfort in the freezing night, each time he passed out from a panic attack because the total darkness and cold are his worse triggers, there they were still watching over him, bright and safe.

.

.

Tony watched the sun go up, up, up, until it reaches its zenith.

"No one is coming, no one is coming, no one is coming" he start to sing and then burst out laughing hysterically and turned into full on sobs, he feels warm and not in a good way, his head feels like it's going to split open.

He passes out, again.

.

. 

In his blurry daze he hears a voice that he hadn’t heard for more than 20 years, Maria Stark began singing him a song with her beautiful voice like she used to do when he was sick as a kid, and for Tony it seemed fitting, it seemed poetic.

it seemed perfect.

 

**_‘Hey Jude don’t make it bad’…_ **

Tony could almost feel her fingers stroking his hair.

**_‘Take a sad song and make it better’…_ **

 A tired smile crept onto the genius's handsome broken features. 

**_‘Remember to let her into your heart’_ **

**_‘Then you can start to make it better’_ **

“I don’t know how to make it better Mama … I miss you so, _so_ much… I want to come home, p-please let me come home Mama, I am s-so tired “

_‘ **I know bambino, you’ve given enough of you to the world, you were such a good boy baby, I think It’s time to come home now, me and your father will be waiting for you, we are so proud of you honey’**_

Tony was sobbing uncontrollably he barely managed to say “Y-you a-are?” between broken heaves.

**_‘Yes Bambino, so so proud of you’_** echoed his mom’s soothing voice.

Tony wasn’t far enough gone to not know that he was hallucinating but he didn’t care, for the first time in more than 25 years he’s talking to his mom.

‘ ** _Yes Tony, we’re so proud of you I am sorry I didn’t get to tell you sooner’_** said a deep strong voice that shook him to the core

“Dad?” asked Tony and managed to both sound disbelieving and hopeful at the same time

**_‘hey buddy, and yes I am proud of you son, you have no idea how much and that’s on me, I am sorry I was such a horrible father to you there’s nothing I regret more, I love you Tony and if you wish to come to us we’ll be waiting for you with open arms, but if you think there’s even just a_ little _chance that you might survive I want you to take it, I want you to_ fight _, you hear me son?_ Fight’**

“F-Fight? I can’t Fight anymore… I am so tired Dad, maybe-maybe the world would be a better place without me in it” managed to say tony through the lump in his throat.

**_‘Oh baby, don’t ever think that, you’ve saved thousands if not millions of lives, you’ve made mistakes of course, but who hasn’t, we’ve been watching you ever since we died, and we’ve seen you fight everyday to be a better man, and a better son and it breaks my heart that you don’t know that you already are a good man, and that we couldn’t have hoped for a better son’._ **

Tony snorted weakly at the irony, it only took him to be at the doors of death to have his imaginary Parents be proud of him, oh how he would’ve killed to hear those words in real life.

**_‘Son listen to me I know you don’t believe us and you think you’re imagining this, but this is real and I wanted to tell you that I love you Tony, I love you so much and I am sorry for everything I did to you, we don’t have enough time just remember Tony we-‘_ **

“Dad? remember what? Dad” whispered Tony hurriedly.

**_‘we lo… you…’_ **

 he could barely make the words they were so far away, as if they were at the edge of his conscience.

“…ny, wake up”

Tony opened his eyes, but he couldn’t see anything it was all blurry and dark and a for a fraction of a second he thought he might have gone blind but no, there was some hazy figure in front of him.

“Mr. Stark I am going to carry you to safety just stay awake okay? “

Tony knew that voice, it sounded like Jarvis but _‘no_ _that_ _couldn’t_ _be_ _right_ _Jarvis_ _is_ _dead’._

“V-Vision?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes Mr. Stark it’s me, you’re are severely hurt I need to get you out of here at this instance, you’re going to be okay” soothed the android.

Tony just nodded absently “I-I am go’na be ‘kay, you hear that Mom, dad, m’gona be o‘kay”

Tony barely had time to feel Vision lifting him from the ground and say that he’s going to be okay before he slipped into the tender embrace of unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony woke up to the sharp smell of bleach and antiseptics. He scrunched his eyes at the bright light that was sipping through his closed eyelids. He tried to move his body but he felt heavy and powerless. Tony slowly started blinking, desperately trying to open his eyes and see what’s around him.

 

‘ _Where am I?’_ Wondered tony to himself.

 

As blinding light gradually subsided Tony tilted his head to his left to take a look at his surroundings. The room he was in was pristine clean and gloomy and after awhile his foggy brain finally recognized it as a hospital room. Tony could not remember how he got there but he knew for sure that he wanted _out_ as soon as possible. Preferably right now.

 

He pulled on the IV line and felt a sharp pain. ‘ _Seems that unplugging IVs is only easy in the movies_ ’, he started to unhook everything else when he felt a hard object in the middle of his chest, he froze. Slowly, with his heart beating anxiously, Tony lowered his eyes until his chest came into focus, it was wrapped in a typical white bandage but what made tony inhale sharply was the covered up familiar round shape that was underneath it.

 

Stark’s heart monitor started beeping frantically which mere moments later attracted a swarm of nurses and Doctors, Tony heard people calling his name but they seemed very distant and didn’t really register what they were saying.

 

No, Tony was more focused on clawing at his chest, trying to free himself from the intrusive object.

 

He couldn’t breath.

 

Tony tried to take a breath but it felt like there was a hole inside his lungs he couldn’t keep the air inside, his vision became black spotted, he was having a panic attack. A severe one at that.

 

As he felt multiple hands trying to hold him back, Tony passed out.

 

 

………………………………………….

 

 

“Mr. Sta-“

 

Voice.

 

Distant.

 

Blackness

 

“…-ark can you hea- “

 

Darkness.

 

Distant.

 

Voice.

 

 

Tony felt himself being pulled out of unconsciousness by someone calling to him, his eyes snapped open when he remembered the panic attack he just had moments prior.

 

“Mr. Stark can you hear me “asked a very concerned doctor and Tony recognized it as the voice that was calling for him through the darkness he was surrounded by while unconscious.

 

Tony’s barely heard the words amidst the loud insistent ringing inside his ears.

 

The genius looked up at the middle aged man, he couldn’t speak so he just nodded.

 

 “Good, you gave us quiet a scare Mr. Stark, you had a severe panic attack” Said the Doctor with a much clearer voice now that the ringing started to subside.

 “We had to restrain you so you wouldn’t hurt yourself” Continued the man before nodding to his cuffed hands and legs and then moved towards Tony’s legs

 “I am going to remove them right now” he said as he started to uncuff the billionaire’s restrained ankles before he moved to his wrists and as soon as they were released the engineer reflexively began rubbing them.

 

Tony Cleared his throat before he spoke with a gruff and raw voice from disuse, he barely managed to say “What happened to me doctor…?” before he went into a coughing fit, a _painful_ coughing fit.

 

The Doctor quickly made his way to the bedside table towards the jug of water and poured  Tony a cup, putting in a straw before bringing it to Tony’s lips.

 “Here, drink the water it should help with your sore throat”

 Tony began sucking on the straw and as the fist drop of water touched his mouth he felt like crying, he didn’t know how much thirsty he was until he unaware of it began drinking without taking a breath between each swallow until the doc told him to take it easy as he pulled the straw out of his reach.

 “You have to take it easy Mr. Stark, your throat is apparently not healed yet, I know that the water feels like a cold balm to your wounds but if you drink too much of it, your stomach wouldn’t be able to hold it and you’ll be puking all over the place and I don’t think that’s something you want” while the Doc was explaining _why_ he couldn’t drink too much until he quenched his thirst, _he_ was eying the cup of water with a look of betrayal.

 

Tony nodded his understanding before he looked up but not before sending a last death stare to the cup

 “Why does my throat hurts doc, as far as I remember I hadn’t injured it during the fight” asked Tony

 “Ah yes, after the surgery your body was put through too much stress, so we had to but you in an induced coma to allow your body to heal properly, at the time we weren’t sure if your lungs could handle breathing on their own so we had to insert a tube down your throat to help you with that.”

 

Tony’s already pale face lost the little color it had left “I might need the long version and I am going to need your name because I don’t think you’d like me to keep calling you doc” he tried to alleviate the tension but it seemed to fall flat, but the doc [bless his heart] chuckled a little bit before he spoke.

 

“Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself to you in the midst of all this frenzy, I am Doctor Mark Williams, and as for what happened to you? well you were brought here by your teammate ‘Vision’ I think his name was with multiple severe wounds, you crashed two times in the operation room and aside from three broken ribs and a major concussion, the one we were most worried about was your chest, part of the iron man suit chest plate mainly the one surrounded the arc reactor caved in and embedded it self right in your chest bones, it managed to shatter part of the the artificial sternum you had and in doing so created shrapnel’s that were making their way to your heart and lungs, we managed to extract the majority of them but some of the ones that were headed towards your heart were impossible to remove without killing you, like I said before, we almost lost twice on the table we couldn’t risk it, we were at lost at what to do and so we explained the problem to Miss Potts and she suggested that we reintegrate the arc reactor to your body and I can safely say that it is working as it supposed to”

 

It took a moment for Tony to process all the information, suddenly his blood ran cold as realization came crashing

 ‘ _He tried to kill me, Ste-Rogers tried and nearly succeeded killing me’_ Tony pushed those thoughts away, not wanting to waste any more time on _him/them._

“Hold on, you’re Dr. Williams? as in the same doctor that operated on Rhodes, _that_ doctor?”

 “Yes, the one and only” replied Williams with a dramatic salute and then continued

 “Your friend was very lucky, a fall from that height and that speed could’ve easily killed him, but your friend is a strong man and he pulled through with flying colors.” Answer the Doctor reassuringly.

 

Tony’s whole body gave a shudder at the thought of a ‘dead’ Rhodey, and then suddenly he seemed to remember that the good doctor mentioned his Best-friend-turned-ex-girlfriend/CEO being here even though he hasn’t seen her in over two months prior of the ‘Civil War’ as the media and the people were calling it.

 “Wait, Pepper was _here_?” asked Tony with disbelieve

 “I presume Pepper is Ms. Potts if so then yes, she and the other five visit you every day for the since you were brought in here three weeks ago.“

 

 _‘Two Weeks, I’ve been out for_ three. **Fucking**. Weeks… _damn you Rogers, wherever you are Damn you’_

 

“Doc can you tell me who are _‘the five’_  people visiting me?” he tried to keep his hopeful desperation at the thought that people cared enough to visit him for three weeks straight from his voice.

 

Dr. Williams looked up from where he was intently reading Tony’s medical chart and smiled.

 

“Well Ms. Potts of course alongside with Mr. Hogan Mr. Rhodes Mr. Parker and Mr. Wayne”

A wave of Deep affection, Love and Gratitude washed through him, _‘I am going to make it up to them, I promise’_ promised Tony to himself.

 

“Actually Mr. Wayne just left a couple of hours ago and he told me to inform you that he had to go back to Gotham for an urgent matter but he’ll call you later to make sure and I quote ‘that his spoiled self-sacrificing ass is being cared for’” Said Mark with a voice full of mirth

 

Tony snorted. typical Bruce, disappears for years only to appear when you need him at your side like he never left and something in his chest ached to have his friend with him, it would’ve been nice to see the older man again it has been more than a year since he last saw him.

 

“Doctor- “

 

“Please call me Mark” interrupted the doctor with a genuine smile.

 

Tony looked at him in surprise and returned the smile as he said “Only if you call me Tony”

 

“Deal”

  
“Well then _Mark,_ can you please tell me more about Rhodey’s condition”

 

“Well as you already know he lost mobility of legs, other than that he’s in a perfect shape you don’t have to worry about him he’s a strong man and kind of intimidating I got to say”

 

Tony huffed a laugh which started a coughing bout

 

“Easy there Tony, don’t worry about the coughing it’s normal especially after all the stress that your lungs suffered, it’s frankly a miracle you only lost about 10% of your lung capacity” Said Mark as he rubbed circles on Tony’s back

 

“Yeah, _thank god_ for small mercies” muttered the engineer sarcastically.

 

The doctor began to do a ‘routine’ check up on all of Tony’s vitals, there was an easy comfortable silence that Tony doesn’t quite manage with everyone, after the doctor finished with him he moved to check on the monitors surrounding the genius, and suddenly an idea struck Tony an idea that brought him a smirk to his battered face.

 

“Hey doc, ever thought about going partly private?”

 

Mark raised one expression-full eyebrow in question “what do you mean by that?”

 

“Well I _know_ the Avengers right now are kind of understaffed but I plan to fix it and we could use a skillful doctor, and who better than you _Doctor-Please-Call-Me-Mark_? hence why I’m asking you. _So_ ? have you ever considered going private?”

 

Marks eyes widened in shock before he regained his composure, he was quiet for a moment as he seemed to be mulling over it before he replied

 

“I mean I _do_ like a challenge every once in a while and frankly I am a _bit_ of adrenaline junky so I _might_ be persuaded but I’ve got to ask, why _me_? I am sure there are a lot more doctors that would be immensely more qualified than I “

 

Tony simply shrugged and said

 

“Well, I know that you’re the doctor that operated on my best friend and _saved_ him might I add, so I looked you up when you were in the O.R with Rhodey and from what I learned you are a fighter, you made yourself what you are now on your own and I like that in a person you _don’t_ give up even though the chances are against you and you can also add to the **_Reasons-to-join-the-avengers-team-list_** the fact that you saved my perky ass, oh and your really easy on the eyes, like _really?_ a doctor _and_ hot as hell, that’s _so not fair_ ” 

 

That drew a full genuine laugh from the Man and Tony _knew_ that they would become good friends.

 

Mark Just raised his right hand in front of Tony and rubbed at his wedding ring and responded him with a smirk full of amusement

 

“ _Well_ , let it not be said that I am not _more_ than flattered, but as you can see I am happily married to a beautiful and _scary_ woman, the kids are both in college so we finally got sometime to ourselves, and no amount of devilishly handsome billionaires trying to seduce little old me would sway me away from Elena if not for love then just for the shear terror she would inflict on me otherwise” said Mark with a fond and Loving smile as he talked about his wife.

 

Tony snorted before shrugging “Eh, it was worth a shot, _so_ what do you say Mark”

 

“It is an interesting offer, and I would be a fool to pass on it but can I have a few days to mull it over and to talk about it with Elena?”

 

“Of _course_ that’s only fair. The offer is still on the table for as long as you want, I’ll send a lawyer to work with you on a contract that would satisfy you as soon as I get the hell away from here, no offense doc but hospitals aren’t exactly my favorite place, so when can I get as far away from here?” 

 

Tony was fidgeting on his hospital bed and looked intently at the room with disdain willing himself to teleport out of it ‘ _Which hey we’ve seen and fought weirder shit’_

“Non taken Tony, anyway since you’ve been in a coma for three weeks your body already healed a great deal, but on the other hand you’ve just came out from a _three weeks’ coma_ so we’ll have to keep you overnight to make sure that there’s no surprises that would pop up later, _but_ by this time tomorrow you’ll most likely be resting in your own bed.” finished Mark with a playful wink.

 

At that Tony relaxed a little bit “ ** _Good_** ”

 

"Uh Mark, as you so kindly keep pointing out, I was in a coma for _three weeks_ shouldn’t I be not able to move my limbs properly?”

 

“Normally yes, you would have developed a mild muscle atrophy and you’d have had to have muscle therapy after you’ve woken up to regain full mobility, but thanks to Pepper she suggested that we let your A.I Friday move your limbs with the aid of the suit to keep the muscles in shape, and it seemed to have worked”

 

To say Tony was surpri- no shocked would be an understatement “Wait hold on so you’re telling me Pepper told you to let the Iron Man suit play puppet and puppeteer with me while I am in a coma?” asked tony with disbelief coloring his tone.

 

Mark smiled gently at him “that is correct, although if it makes you feel better we always had someone monitoring the suit so that there was no wrong movement that could compromise your mobility later

 

“well that was comforting” replied tony dryly before he shook himself and said

 

“sorry doc I don’t want to seem like an ungrateful douche but it’s just surprising to say the least”

 

Mark continued his check ups for a little while longer.

 

…………………

 

“Well everything seems in order I’ll let you get some rest Tony” Exclaimed Dr. Williams

 

“Thanks doc. Oh and say hi to Elena for me, and tell her she might have won the battle but like _hell_ will I let her win the war“ purred Tony flirtingly menacing.

 

Mark snorted “Will do” and then left but not before Tony could see his cheeks reddening.

 

_‘Ha! Seems like **just** like me and the wine, my flirting is becoming more exquisite with age’_

 

Tony made himself comfortable on the bed and before he knew it He was swallowed in a dreamless sleep.

 

 

…………………………………..

 

 

“Rhodey it’s been three months since I got out of the hospital stop hovering I am fine.“ Snapped Tony.

 

“I don’t care if it’s been a month or a _fucking_ year, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been working for over 28 hours non-stop, that isn’t healthy Tones and you know it “

 

Tony sighed and turned to face Rhodes “Look I know I sometimes seem like I don't care about my health but I can assure you I do, especially now after everything that happened with _them_ , I have to fix things Rhodes, I have an obligation towards the people who got scared of the same _heroes_ that were supposed to protect them, _I_ have an obligation towards my best friend and my brother who got hurt in a crossfire that should have never been, _I_ have an obligation towards myself and towards other enhanced individuals to make sure that the accords are amended so that they are used to _protect_ us _not_ contain us, but most of all I _need_ to work and fix everything that was caused by this ‘civil war’ so that I can finally take time to heal from _another_ betrayal without having to worry or look over my shoulder.” finished Tony with a raised voice and wide glassy eyes, he closed them grabbed the bridge of his nose and let out a deep sigh, his posture sagging in defeat before he looked back up at his best friend and pleadingly said  “So please babe just … just let me do this alright?, le me work it out.”

 

Rhodey got up from his wheelchair with the aid of his exoskeleton and enveloped Tony in a fierce hug, he already suspected the engineer was blaming himself for the whole mess but hearing him say it broke James’s heart, he broke their embrace but kept both his hands on the engineer’s shoulders. “Tony you’re the _last_ person who should be paying the price for this ‘civil war’, goddamnit it’s really catchy name, anyway As I was saying the people who should be here facing the repercussions are either High placed in the government or hiding _from_ the government, you've done nothing but agree with what the people want and to take into account their fears, yet as always they blame you for everything, look I don't like you exhausting yourself but if you _really_ have to do this I'll give you the time and space you need.”

 Tony bumped his fist in the Air triumphantly, but quickly lost his smug smile as Rhodey hastily added “ On one non- negotiable condition”

 

Tony looked at him with suspicion before he asked “which _is_?”

 

“ _You_ , shower, Food, Sleep, in that exact order and _then_ you can come back to your bat-cave if you really need to”

 

Tony’s whole body tensed at the bat-cave comment but he made himself relax quickly to not raise his friend’s suspicion.

 

Rhodey unaware of his friend’s turmoil continued “Look Tony If you really want me to stop ‘hovering’ then you need to start taking care of yourself, come on go take a shower the pizza is on its way and we’re really hungry”

 

“Alright, you pushy asshole, the pizza better come with a shit ton of pepperoni or you'll have one angry genius to deal with” as Tony made his way to the lab door he paused and turned incredulously towards Rhodes “who’s we?!  you didn't say _I_ am hungry, you said _we_ are hungry”

 

“ _Vision_ and I, you know big red android phasing/moping through the compound, has a scandalously familiar British voice, ring any bells?!”

 

“Don't sass me Mr. Robot, That's my thing”

 

Rhodey Rolled his eyes “I genuinely don't understand why you have a problem with him, I mean I know that he reminds you of Jarvis and maybe he freaks you out a little bit, but you can’t take it out on the guy.”

 

Tony just sighed and hung his head “ I don't hate the guy if that's what your asking, it’s just… he’s a constant reminder of what I have done, all the people that I’ve let down and disappointed, all the mistakes I have made, but most of all how I failed _him_ how I let _Vision_ down, how I should've been there for him to guide him into this world but I was too lost in grief and self pity, and now I think it's too late, he hates me… every time I even enter a room he quickly makes an escape, cant say I blame him”

 

“Oh for God sakes Tony, the guy doesn’t hate you, he’s avoiding you because he thinks his presence makes you uncomfortable, believe me the guy loves you, he’s the one who saved you and for an ‘android’ who is not supposed to feel, the guy almost lost it when you went through cardiac arrest, just _please_ tony talk to Vis and clear the air between you two”

 

To say tony was surprised at his friends outburst would be an understatement, but he knew he needed to talk to Vision, not knowing what to say he just nodded dumbly and followed Rhodey to the elevator.

 

“Fri, save everything and close the shop would you”

 

“ ** _Already done Boss!”_** replied Friday cheerfully

 

"That's my girl” said Tony proudly.

 

 since loosing Jarvis he didn't think any A.I would ever come even close to what his friend meant to him but Friday, although not as accomplished as J, is doing pretty well and Tony was sure in time she would become as developed as J, she already had a fiery personality.

 

When the car arrived at his floor Tony got out and looked back at Rhodes “Hey James, do you think I can fix this”

 

Both of them knew what _this_ really meant “Tony This whole fucked up situation was not your fault get it into your thick stubborn skull, but if there is someone who could _fix_ this it's you” answered Rhodey with a genuine conviction that seemed to appease Tony/

 

The Stark heir gave his best friend a small but genuine smile before the elevator doors shut and began to make its way to the common floors of the big empty compound.

 

……………………………….

 

 

A cascade of scalding water fell on Tony’s worn body for what felt like hours but couldn’t be more than a couple of minutes, he looked down at his naked body, Tony knew he still looked good but he could see clear signs of his slacking, he needed to get back to training and this time he needed to step up his game, he never wants to feel so powerless outside his suit and the genius knew just the person to help him… he hopes.

 

Tony placed both of his hands on the shower wall, hung his head and let the water wash away the last evidences of his exhaustion, a steady stream formed on the tip of his overly long hair straightening on its way the curls at the extremities of his strays making it something to loose focus on.

 

He felt himself drifting in a mindlessly foggy-ish state he closed his eyes and let his mind wander around. Flashes of metal arms and cutting shield brought him back gasping for air, he reflexively put his hand on his chest and for a moment he forgot he had the reactor back … _I  have it back…I fucking have it back and it’s Rogers’s fault, the same man that dear old dad never shut up about, the same man I considered a friend, a family, the man that I_ … Tony shook his head to clear the unwanted thoughts and abruptly shut the water, he got out of the shower and dried himself up thoughts of his former team mates still lingering on the background like a wolf hunting its pray, he ran his fingers through his dark wet hair in frustration

 

“Get it together Stark”

 

Tony dropped his hands from his dripping hair and let out a heavy sigh with a towel wrapped around his waist he went to the sink and swiped clean the condensed mirror, the Tony that stared back at him was not the Tony from the magazines, he was not the billionaire/playboy that Everyone loved to hate, the Tony that reflected on the mirror was older, broken and a once again betrayed fool who gave too much trust to the wrong people, The face that was on the glass was a thin, baggy eyed, worn face with a strands of white hair on each Temple and on his fully grown beard, for once in his life he actually reflected what he was feeling inside .

 

“Maybe it’s time to fix both” whispered Tony to himself.

 

He opened the drawer on the left of the sink and rummaged through it until he came up with razors, he thought about trimming his beard to a van dyke but maybe it's time for a change.

 

 A couple of minutes later Tony got out of the bathroom clean shaven and feeling good for the first time in days, It was the first Time he had something to achieve on a personal level, because he knew maybe it was time for him to start working on himself first so he can be fully focused on helping others.

 

He quickly put on boxers, loose pants and an Iron Maiden Band T-shirt and headed towards the communal kitchen where he found Rhodey and Vision placing plates for the pizza, Tony made his presence known he smiled a genuinely and hopeful smile before he said

 

 “I am going to fix it, all the shit that happened I am going to fix it, and I am going to need your help. _Both_ your help”

 

Vision looked up at him, surprise drawn in his usually impassive face.

 

“Are you sure you want my help Mr. Stark I seem to be a source of unease for you, I wish not to bother you ” asked Vision and a fresh new wave of  guilt crashed over Tony.

 

“Look Viz I know we didn't have the best start, And that is all on me because I didn’t want to see you as _you_ , I kept seeing Jarvis and it _killed_ me every time you so much as opened your mouth to speak, you sounded just like him , you still do and instead of facing it  I tried to distance myself from you, but believe me it had nothing to do with you, I was mourning my best friend, the last member of my family and I guess it took me too much time to see that maybe… maybe I still have a member, I just didn't want to see it, you're an incredible **_person_** , you care so much about others even though you don't fully  understand those same feelings , you try _so fucking hard_ that sometimes it's painful to watch and I am going to regret not being there for you and helping you for the rest of my life, because I hold a responsibility towards you and I failed you… what I am trying to say is that I care about you Vis, and I'll gladly prove it to you if you’ll allow me.” finished Tony with a throat full of barely held down emotions.

 

“Tony’s right vision, you are a good person and I want you to know that neither one of us hold you responsible for injury, I can see the way you keep looking at my legs, and we do not blame you at all, so in light of all the things tony just said I’d like to add myself to the list friends to help you with whatever you want.” added Rhodes.

 

Tony just nodded his agreement.

 

Vision looked wrecked to say the least, he also looked relieved and for Someone who didn’t have emotions, he was showing a lot of them.

 

Vision cleared his throat and said

 

“I would appreciate it immensely thank you, both of you”

 

Rhodey smirked, clapped his hands and said “good because as of right now you’re officially a member of the brotherhood”

 

At Vision’s confused look Tony explained

 

“It’s something we came up with when we were at college, it’s what we call the group of people we consider as brothers in all but blood, thus far it has always been just me and Rhodey but I think you’d be a great addition, what do you say Vision”

 

Vision was looking at them with wide eyes before he spoke “It Would be my greatest pleasure and honor to call you my brothers” said Vision with genuine adoration in his voice.

 

There was a moment of a comfortable silence that was broken by Tony

 

“You know, you still haven’t answer my question, I mean I was supposed to come down here with this new look and telling you how I am going to fix things and you'll be all inspired by my courage and you’ll start worship the ground I walk on but then Vision has to steal my thunder”

 

“I believe you might have mistaken me for another handsome godlike being”

 

Both Tony and Rhodey laughed, very surprised by their new brother’s sense of humor. ‘ _He’s going to fit right in’_ thought Tony

 

“But to answer your question Mr. Stark- “

 

“It’s Tony buddy, Mr. Stark was my father, call me Tony “ interrupted the genius

 

“To answer your question _Tony_ it would be my pleasure to help in anyway clean this mess”

 

Tony smiled and nodded gratefully before he turned towards his best friend

 

“what about you Rhodey, I would totally understand-“

 

“Oh cut the bullshit I was just waiting for you to ask you Moron, of course I am in” cut in James.

 

“Okay good, that settles it then” said Tony before he collapsed on the couch and grabbed a plate for himself.

 

 

 

 

"Do you have something in mind about how to _fix_ things “asked Rhodey after they finished their pizzas

 

“I don't exactly have a plan yet, but I do have something to do first”

 

“Which is?” Inquired Vision

 

Tony sighed and rubbed his hands Over his face before he looked at his team

 

“It’s a rescue mission. I think Natasha has been kidnapped”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry for the long hiatus ...frankly i wasn't sure wether or not i should continue this story but now i am back on track and i already have the story planned out so hopefully this will become a weekly updated fiction ....
> 
> PS/ bare in mind that i dont have a beta and english is not my primary language so mistakes can surely be found 
> 
> PPS/ criticisme is highly appreciated wether good or bad


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Criticism /good or bad/ is always welcome, so feel free.
> 
> PS/ I am obviously team IronMan but I don't plan to bash Team Cap /Much/ i feel like they're still redeemable.
> 
> PPS/ I still don't know the Main Pairing of this fic /or if there should be one at all/ and it's bugging me to no end.
> 
> PPPS/ Question for you guys, where do you think the Doctor Strange movie fits in the MCU timeline, i mean it's obviously after the first avengers /since the Avengers tower was featured in the movie/ but before age of Ultron /since the tower was still AVENGERS Tower, we all know that at the end of AOU they moved to the compound/ or am i getting this wrong ....

Everything hurt, body stretched to its extremes hanging cuffed from the ceiling, toes barely touching the hard cold cement ground, Time seemed to have lost its weight after the third week of captivity, barely standing at the edge of consciousness she heard the dreaded sound of the cell’s rusted steel doors she was held in rasp at its own bulk being moved, the Black Widow braced herself at what was coming, she didn’t have to wait long as hard punches rained over her restrained battered form, she had long passed the point of holding the grunts of pain, tears filled up the corner of her eyes but she couldn’t, wouldn’t, give them the satisfaction. The Avengers resident spy couldn’t believe how stupid she’s been getting caught by the Red Room.

 

After the whole ‘Civil War’ debacle she left to join Steve in Wakanda.

 

**_‘You Ran, don’t lie to yourself’_** she bitterly amended herself.

 

Natasha helped Rogers break the rest of the team out from the Raft, it had seemed way too easy and she suspected- no- she _knew_ that they’d had outside _help_ otherwise it would have been much more difficult, and from the frown Rogers was wearing during the whole mission, Romanoff knew he was thinking the same thing, but at the time she pushed the feeling of hope that tried to overwhelm her deep down and focused on getting the others out of the raft and into safety.

 

But during the whole extraction there was this voice in the hind of her brain repeating in a loop **‘he still cares. he still cares. He still cares’**.

 

When they got back to Wakanda, Natasha finally let herself recount everything that happened and for the first time in god knows how long, she regretted the decisions she had made and what she had done to Tony. Again.

 

Deep down Natasha knew that she had regretted it the moment she did it, the sight of her friend falling to his certain death would be graved in her mind for as long as she lived, a sight that her and _‘Team cap’_ had caused, Natasha had been in shock and terrified of what she had done and reacted the only way she knew. she lashed out.

 

**_‘We played it wrong’_** Natasha scoffed internally at how stupid she had been, she knew that she was the one that played it wrong, she knew that Steve had been playing wrong from the beginning, yet she still chose him over Tony. It wasn’t until she was in one of her hideouts in New York Laying low before she took off to Wakanda that she began doubting her choices and questioning the reasoning behind them, and she did not like doubting herself. The black Widow couldn’t afford doubt.

 

Not one bit.

 

In her line of work, uncertainty and something less of full confidence could get you killed.

 

Or worse.

 

But Natasha was only a flawed, broken woman, and lately, doubt is all she had.

 

But Why though?

 

**‘ _Because when you don’t know what to do anymore you seek guidance and who’s better than Captain America to know right from wrong, screw trusting your instinct, screw trusting Tony because he’s always wrong, right? you were the one that said it in your report, what was it again? Oh Iron Man yes … Tony stark not recommended, what a fool you’ve been Nat, always blaming Tony and his ego’_** _. Said the cold steel voice of her alter ego._

She wanted to laugh hysterically and scream at herself, how could they have been so arrogant, always blaming Tony and his ‘ego’ when _they_ have been the one’s who decimated it with their sharp words and hurtful actions, _sure_ Tony was brass and frustrating and kind of an asshole but the same could be said about all of them, she knew that it was all a front, a sort of defense mechanism to protect himself and what little unbroken pieces he still had left, Tony had been burned too many times in his life and to protect his already broken heart he surrounded himself with walls so high and thick it discouraged most people to even _try_ to climb them and get to know the real Tony, the man that tries relentlessly to save the world only to be accused of destroying it, the man that keeps on giving even when it cost him his health, time and soul, yet people call him selfish and self absorbed, and to her great despair it appeared they’ve been among those people.

 

It seemed that tony had been their unofficial scape goat and the genius made it easy for them with him not putting up a fight.

 

**_‘You’ve read his file Natasha, you know what he’s been through with Howard and Maria’_ **

 

Natasha had always been proud of being amongst the greatest spies the Red Room had ever created, yet from the moment she had met Tony Stark she’d only made the wrong assumptions and it frustrated her to no end, because at the end of the day she never saw who Tony Stark really was, and she couldn’t blame him for it at all, they…- _she_ never gave him anything for him to trust.

 

**_“I’m not the one who needs to watch their back”_** Natasha cringed at that memory.

 

_Fuck_.

 

She had so many things to make up to Tony, but she wasn’t sure she’ll ever could, and _not_ because she was currently chained to a [Red Room/Hydra] Secret base in god knows where.

 

Natasha suspected that this time she had probably lost Tony for good, but she **_had_** to try _at the very least,_ she owed him that.

 

But first she had to get away from this hellhole, and the spy had only two options at hand.

 

Option 1 was to escape on her own, _but_ that was out of the question for the moment considering her body state.

 

Option 2 was if someone rescued her, though this one she doubted the most the only thing she can do now is hope that _somehow_ , someone cared enough about her to get her out of this.

 

That being said Natasha had given up on anyone coming for her after the second week, she didn’t know _when_ exactly, maybe it was between all the waterboarding she was subjugated to, or maybe during the electric chair when they lit her up like a Christmas tree, or maybe when they used her body as a canvas for their art and craft class the widow didn’t remember but she knew she’d lost it somewhere between the tortures.

 

Now she was hanging from the ceiling with both arms broken in various places, bleeding cuts covered the entirety of her battered body, cursing herself for being so stupid and wondering how things got this bad as she fought the battle against unconsciousness.

 

She lost.

 

* * *

 

 

_Natasha knew she couldn’t stay in Wakanda when she knew her place was beside Tony cleaning up this whole shitstorm instead of sitting on her thumbs getting a tan while listening to her ‘team’ bitch and moan about Stark._

_She was pissed ‘_ no that’s not right’ _she was_ livid _, she was infuriated at the ex-Avengers especially Rogers and Barton, but she knew that if she were to speak up she wouldn’t be able to put the lid back on all the shit that’s brewing inside of her from spewing out and making everything worse she’d done enough of that with Tony so she kept her mouth shut, besides she knew the person she was most upset with was herself._

_Natasha was in the gym generously provided by King T’Challa working her feelings and frustrations on the boxing bag when Rogers and Barton walked in laughing without a care in the world, Clint was wearing black shorts and a white Tank top while Steve had a black t-shirt that seemed two size smaller and grey sweatpants, she ignored them in favor of beating the shit out of the bag._

_They were joined moments later by Sam, Wanda and Scott all wearing workout clothes chatting amiably, cracking jokes like nothing happened, like they weren’t fugitives, like they hadn’t just betrayed one of their own, and that seemed to make the Black Widow even more pissed._

_After a while the only sounds heard in the gym were the ones Natasha’s bandaged hands made against the swinging bag._

_Thwap.Thwap_

_‘I am trying to keep you from tearing the avengers apart’_

_‘You already did that by signing the accords’_

_Thwap.Thwap._

_‘Mr. Pym always said to never Trust a Stark’_

_‘Who are you again?’_

_Thwap.Thwap.Thwap.Thwap._

_‘You better watch out for this one or he’ll break your back’_

_Thwap.Thwap.Thwap._

_‘Take that suit away, what are you?’_

_‘Iron man yes … Tony stark not recommended’_

_“Nat”_

_Thwap.Thwap.Thwap.Thwap.Thwap._

_‘I’ve known men worth ten times of you’_

_‘he wants to destroy the word, who do you think he got it from?’_

_“Natasha, Stop”_

_Thwap.Thwap.Thwap._

_‘it’s all about style with you isn’t it’_

_“Natasha would you cut it out, your hands are bleeding” someone yelled_

_A hand grabbed her shoulder, she didn’t even feel the black Widow taking over, sidestepping out of the offending arm’s reach she grabbed its wrist and twisted it, Natasha **felt** more than saw her attacker fall to their knees with a startled cry, the attacker’s arm still in her grasp she swung her leg over their neck and fell back on her back, the assailant’s neck between her strong thighs chocking them, readying herself to break their neck._

_“Natasha, stop you’re hurting him” said a familiar voice she turned towards it._

****

**_‘Steve? what is he doing here?’_ ** _wondered Natasha to herself_

_A sense of dread came over her as she looked back at the attacker between her legs._

_Clint._

_She let go suddenly and forcefully jumped back away from her ‘Friend?’ like she had been burned._

**_‘I almost snapped his neck’_ ** _terribly realized Natasha_

_Horror was written all over her face as she eyed her bloody trembling hands, she looked back at the team, they were all looking at her with concern, but most of all Clint was looking at her with disbelief._

_“What the Fuck Nat, you almost killed me” screamed Barton his voice gruff and Raw from the chocking._

_“Oh god- I-I sorry… fuck I am sorry” stammered Natasha **‘what the hell is wrong with me’**_

****

_“Sorry ain’t gonna cut it this time Nat, you were going to fucking snap my neck” shrieked Clint rubbing his neck, hands trembling from anger._

_“Clint I am sure that it was an accident, she wouldn’t do it on purpose” tried to reason Sam but his voice carried a bit of uncertainty._

_“No,_ no _. We’ve been here for a_ month _, and the only thing she’s been doing is brooding and looking like she’s going to murder someone, but I didn’t think she’d actually try to kill anyone, let alone me, I understand your frustration, you’re not the only one who got screwed over by that son of bitch Stark, but next time you feel murderous try to focus it on him, not us. And frankly you’ll do us a great service getting rid of him.” Shouted Clint._

_Silence reigned._

_They were all looking at him with wide eyes and expressions of shock except for Wanda who was nodding her agreement._

_Clint looked at them “Oh please, like none of you were thinking it.”_

_Natasha looked at the avengers ‘earth mightiest heroes’ and at that moment she genuinely couldn’t see it, they were only flawed arrogant people_

_**‘what have I done? I am so sorry Tony’.**_

_She turned toward Clint “I am sorry Clint, I don’t know what happened to me and I can’t express how sorry I am.” She said sincerely but then her face grew cold as she continued “But Fuck you”_

_Clint’s eyebrows rose in shock “Fuck you for even suggesting that I would want someone else’s blood on my hands as if they weren’t painted red enough, fuck you for wanting Tony dead even though he’s the last person who did anything wrong in this whole fucked up situation” and then she turned towards Wanda “As for you, you little Bitch I am going to say this once, and I want you to hear me clearly” Scarlett witch has never been afraid of much but right now she saw why they Called Natasha the Black Widow, she took a step back_

_“Next time you try anything on Tony without his consent, or as much as look at him wrong I am going to gut you like the pig that you are, and you won’t even see me coming, I am warning you, and believe me no matter how much time you’ve spent with hydra you’ve never experienced true terror until you’ve tasted what I will do to you, no matter how powerful you are or how many ex-avengers try to protect you because they are apparently  blind to the monster they’re raising thinking they are protecting you, I know the likes of you because I was like you, so hear my thoughts and hear my word because I will hunt you down and I will burn you on the stake like the witch that you are.“ finished Natasha with a deadly smile her face inches away from Wanda’s._

_Wanda didn’t have to read Natasha’s thoughts to know that she was not making a threat but a promise and this… this was worse._

_“Nat what the hell has gotten into you, first you attack your Best-friend and then you go on and make threats to Wanda, she’s just a kid” Exclaimed Steve outrageously._

_Natasha turned to him “You don’t get to talk about attacking friends, not you, especially not you, after everything that happened, You say that you fight for what’s right and that the other people have agendas, but right now I only see you fighting for yourself, and I just realized that the safest hands were never yours Rogers, I am not saying you’re not a good man, because you are, but you are also the biggest hypocrite I have ever seen, you say that you hate bullies well it must be difficult to hate yourself then”_

_The words felt like a sucker punch to Steve ‘Good’ thought Natasha ‘maybe this will wake him up’_

_She then turned to Sam “You are a good- no an amazing and genuine person and I love you for that, but for fucking sake grow a pair, learn to say no and trust your gut, stop following Steve like a lost puppy and start thinking with your own goddamned mind.” Natasha was done watching her team be destroyed from the inside, she had to act. Tough love and all._

_The only people left were Clint and Scott, but she had nothing to say to Barton, at least not now._

_“And you Mr. Lang, you want to really know someone, then stop getting your information second handed, that speaks of a weak personality, Mr. Pym had a problem with Howard Stark, Not Tony Stark yet you still passed judgment on him, if we were to judge people for what they did or seemed, well in that case you’d be in jail, you’d be nothing but a petty criminal, none of us should be avengers, hell I was KGB, Clint was an mercenary for hire, Sam stole from the same government he swore to protect, Maximoff willingly worked with Hydra, and Rogers over there probably killed dozens of people to save his friend, yet you seem to gloss all over that yet when it comes to Tony …” Natasha trailed off and let out a long breath before she continued._

_“Wake the fuck up, before it’s too late, I personally think it’s already too late but we never know, I made the wrong choice and I am going to have to live with it for the rest of my life.”_

_She started removing the bandages from her hands, and then moved towards the exit but not before Steve called out to her asking “What wrong choice are you talking about?” he asked warily as if he already knew the answer._

_She looked at them over her shoulder before she met Steve in the eyes “I should have never let you and James go” Steve felt his breath escape him, he looked at his team, all of them wore shocked and stunned faces when he looked back at Nat she was already gone._

* * *

_Natasha Couldn’t believe what she just did and she felt horrible for hurting her friends but damn it, it felt good and as they say the truth hurts, hopefully this’ll open their eyes as to what they had done, maybe there’s still hope yet._

_She headed towards the showers._

_They were empty._

_She let out a long Sigh._

_…_

_Steam stuffed the baths, and the only sound filling it was the water hitting naked flesh and the now warm tiles._

_Natasha took her time cleaning up, her frame relaxed under the scalding water trying to scrub off Sweat and guilt right out of her reddened skin, but no matter how hot the water got she still felt unclean, tainted and impure._

_Her hands ran all over her body subconsciously, she looked down at her naked form, Natasha knew she was attractive, her smooth breasts stood at a perfect height not too low but not too high either, flat stomach that seemed cut from pure marble led the way perfectly to her narrow waist, Men and Women alike had entrapped it with their filthy hands, she shudders as a wave of arousal and hatred washed over her but she kept her hands moving on their wondrous path, her generous curves glistered with the water falling over them, her long toned legs always seemed to her like a double edged swords, she could wrapped them around someone’s waist or she could wrapped them around someone neck, either way she felt an empowering sensation afterwards only with different outcomes and she wouldn’t change it for the world._

_As an assassin but mainly as a Spy, she used her physique to seduce her targets, but only few ever held her attention, and it usually ended up badly. Bruce was one of them but as time passed she could see what he meant by them not working out and before him only Tony and Bucky ever made a strong impression on her._

_Natasha didn’t even remember putting her hands over her smooth clit, her fingers seemed to move on their own volition as they wiggled themselves between her folds, her other hand rose up to cup one of her perfectly filled breasts, head falling backward she began fondling it and let one of her fingers breach the warm muscle of her cunt while keeping slow circular motions, she was wet and the water had nothing to do with it._

_Closing her green eyes, she imagined a man sneaking in the showers and encircling her with his strong arms from behind before bringing her flush against his powerful chest, she would feel his long hard cock slipping between her round ass cheeks as the mysterious man began rutting against her back. Natasha could almost feel the large head of his cock rubbing at her cunt’s lower half bringing in a new sensation and increasing the heat that had been igniting all of her naked wet body._

_Natasha could feel his warm breath against her neck as Long strong calloused fingers moved the red damp hair that was plastered there to the side and she too slightly moved her head to give him more access._

_Big hands moved to replace hers, cupping her entire breast with one and replacing her fingers with the other, he roughly fingered her dripping cunt while abusing and pinching her nipple hard enough to almost hurt. His chapped lips began mouthing at the junction of her neck before going up and sucking on her sensitive earlobes._

_High pitched moans overlapped the sound of water hitting tiles, as the surreptitious man added two fingers inside her pussy stretching her expertly, her head fell over his shoulder as she began to whimper scratching the edge of her release._

_“Come” said a familiar gruff voice_

_The shadowy man began fucking her with his rough fingers fervently_

_“Come for me Now” said the voice with more command before she felt him bit her neck._

_It felt like a jolt of electricity traveled through her body, she spasmed vehemently as she came broken wails coming out of her mouth._

_Natasha braced herself against the shower wall to keep in balance as she let the tremors die down, it felt good to let go from time to time, it felt good to let her needs overshadow her duties for a little bit, a small genuine laugh escaped her._

_And if the Man she used to ‘let herself loose’ switches between James and Stark, well no one had to know._

_When she felt herself regaining control over her shaken legs she lathered herself with soap and rinsed away the evidence of what occurred just moments prior, feeling more relaxed since the day she came to the African kingdom, she rinsed thoroughly between her thighs and quickly finished her shower._

_After getting dressed with clean clothes she headed towards her room to pack her bag, she hadn’t told the team that she was leaving Wakanda yet, but that’ll have to wait for a bit._

_She had someone to talk to first._

* * *

_The Room was modern and clean, pipes of steel and iron ran along the lengths of the wall from both sides and met behind the cradle that was fixed to the the wall slightly tipped backwards to be more comfortable for the host, Natasha headed for the computer across the room and made a haste of hacking it without being detected, a skill she refined with Tony’s help, a wave of shame and guilt washed over her at the thought of her former friend and teammate, she shook her head and concentrated on her task._

_Fifteen minutes later, she successfully managed to access the program she was looking for, it was the one that controlled the Cryogenic cradle, she pressed some combinations of keyboard keys which activated the thawing sequence, Natasha heard a hiss coming from the cradle she turned and saw that the system began defrosting and the timer on the screen above the cradle displayed 29’58s, she grabbed a stool and waited for James to wake up._

_She knew that the engineers had a specific routine, they checked on Bucky every day in the morning, whereas Rogers only came in at night, so she wasn’t worried about someone coming in, while waiting on James she went through everything that happened in this goddamn civil war and thought of many ways to make it better, and to make it up for Tony, she was deep in thought when Natasha heard a groan coming from the cradle, James was waking up._

_……………………_

_he felt himself being dragged out of the suffocating darkness, little by little James became more aware of his surrounding, the first thing he noticed was that he was cold._

_Cold?_

_Oh. The Cryogenic cradle._

_And just like a wall being slammed into him him memories began to slate themselves in his scrambled mind._

_Steve._

_Brookline._

_War._

_Blood._

_Sweat._

_POW._

_Experimentations._

_Steve._

_Big._

_Train._

_Fall._

_Pain._

_Pain._

_Pain._

_Blood._

_Pain._

_Compliance._

_Kill._

_Cold._

_Kill._

_Cold._

_Stark._

_D.C._

_Steve._

_Breaking._

_Running._

_Hiding._

_Vienna._

_Stark._

_Zemo._

_Stark._

_Siberia._

_Wakanda._

_Cradle._

_Barnes eyes snapped open to look at his surrounding, the room he was in was like the one he went to sleep in, he turned his head when he heard someone clear their throat._

_Natalia._

_…………………………_

_“Welcome to the land of the living James. Again” Said Natasha, her voice not betraying any emotion._

_The fallen Soldier looked at the Ex-Red Room operative with a guarded and weary look._

_He opened his mouth to say something but a cough caught him off guard, Natasha grabbed the bottle of water she brought with her anticipating the coughing and brought it to her ex-Mentor lips, he began to drink greedily._

_After Barnes drank the whole bottle he nodded at her in thanks_

_“How long?”_

_Natasha tilted her head studying him “Around two months” and from the looks Barnes gave her he was expecting longer. Way Longer._

_And then it seemed to hit James that Steve that wasn’t the one to great him, dread and panic began to creep into his foggy mind._

_“Steve-.” he began but Natasha cut him off before he could ask._

_“Steve is fine, he’s in the communal Room with the others and he doesn’t know that I am here or that I woke you up”_

_James looked at her in confusion._

_“Then why did you wake me up if Steve doesn’t know, it’s also safe to guess that they haven’t found anything yet to neutralize the Winter Soldier so why would you wake me up Romanoff” Asked James puzzlement filling his voice._

_“I woke you up because I know you James, and you’re not a coward”_

_The look of confusion deepened on Barnes’s face_

_“At least you weren’t back then” amended Natasha_

_“What... what are you talking about?”_

_“This” responded The spy forcefully while gesturing towards him or maybe towards the human freezer he was in, James wasn’t exactly sure._

_“This whole thing you’re doing hiding from your problem and waiting until they got fixed on their own before you wake up, abandoning your Best Friend when he screwed over his supposed friend and family to save your freezing ass, I’ve known you for years I have loved you for more than half of those, I fought beside you and I know you James, and you are not a coward so please don’t act like it” said Natasha and let some of the desperation she was feeling show in her voice._

_James looked at her pleadingly “I can’t Nat, I can’t keep doing this anymore I am so fucking tired of all this shit, I just want to rest for once in my goddamned life, I want to rest and wake up to a better world, I want to be able to control my own damn body without 9 fucking words_

_Taking it away, I want my old Steve back not this-this bully.” Tears began to pool in his haunted eyes._

_Natasha sighed and looked at the once strongest man she ever knew, she could still see that man hiding inside Bucky buried underneath fear and hurt and despair_

_“Then Fight.” She answered with conviction._

_Barnes seemed startled at that and looked at her with suspiciously glassy eyes_

_“What?”_

_“Fight James, fight for the life hydra took away from you. Fight for your right as a human being. Fight to fix this whole mess. Fight for Steve because_ **yes** _right now he_ **is** _a bully but that’s not who he really is, your Steve is still in there somewhere, Rogers is a good person but he is broken, he is fucking damaged and I am shocked that it took me this long and until now to see it, he is like a drowning man trying to latch on anything to survive, and when he found you he did his damn best to keep his head above water without taking into account all the other people he was drowning with him. And fight for me because I need you I need my_ товарищ to fight along side me”.

 

James looked at her wide eyed and scared but said nothing, tense silence filled the room for a few seconds before Natasha broke it.

 

“Please James” _pleaded Nat._

_At the tiny nod Widow’s whole body sagged in relief._

_“You’re right of course you’re right I’ll help fixing this, maybe I’ll finally be able to do good”_

_Natasha smiled at him gratefully and before Barnes knew it he was engulfed in a warm tight hug he tensed at first before he gave into it. He doesn’t know how long they stayed holding each other but after a few moment Natasha pulled back but her hand slid up to his neck as she made him lean forward and kissed his forehead “Thank you товарищ”_

_“_ ничего _Natalia_ _” he smiled up to her_

_“I go by Natasha now.”_

_James smiled “alright then Natasha, so what’s the plan?”_

_Romanoff straightened her back and said “I need to go back to Stark he will need my help but first I need to build back some new aliases and gather some intel and after that I’ll go back to New York”_

_Bucky nodded his head in understanding “You think Stark will let you back after you let me and Steve go at the airport?”_

_Natasha sighed “I don’t know but I have to try, he’ll need as much help as he can get”_

_“Alright and what about me, I mean what should I do?” asked James_

_“You heal” simply said Natasha_

_At the puzzled look James gave her she exclaimed “Look your problems go beyond the programming, you went under so that you can stop people controlling you but you are so much more than that, you need to deal with your PTSD and your nightmares and everything in between so that when the time comes and a cure is found to deprogram you, then you’ll be able to put everything behind you if you want and start fresh. No one will ask you to grab a weapon again you’ll have a clean slate and maybe you can build a new life or you can fight alongside us. As an Avenger” she paused a second before she suggested “maybe you can even ask T’Challa to build you a new arm” looking at his wrapped shoulder_

_“How did you lose it by the way, Steve said that Tony came after you in Siberia and tried to kill you, but I get the feeling he’s hiding something”_

_James had a far away look when he started to recount everything that happened._

_“and when he threw Steve away from him, the Winter Soldier took over and tried to kill Stark, and in hindsight I don’t think Stark would’ve killed any of us, he had plenty of chances. When  the soldier tried to remove his arc reactor Stark could’ve easily put a hole in my chest but he chose to blow my arm away instead, I think he wanted to destroy the Winter soldier but not Bucky and the arm represented both HYDRA and The Soldier but then something in Steve seemed to snap and he viciously attacked Tony, I think he was going to kill him he had at that point removed Iron man’s Face plate and he was going to slam the shield against Stark’s neck but at the last moment I think he realized what he was going to do and slammed the shield on the suits arc reactor and the rest you already know”_

_Natasha stood there shocked and angry._

_“When did Stevie become the thing he hated the most, when did the guy who stood up for the little guy become a bully?” asked James desperately_

_“I think we should have some space between us for a little while, don’t get me wrong I love the guy to the death but I can’t be with him, I need to figure who I am now outside of Steve”_

_Natasha looked at him in understanding “You know after you left the red room, I was lost I didn’t want to be alone anymore I needed you, so I focused on becoming even more efficient but I became also more reckless, leaving traces of the black widow at crime scenes. I think in hindsight it was a cry for help but I didn’t get it at the time, that was until S.H.I.E.L.D sent one of their operative to neutralize me but instead of completing his mission he gave me a chance, a way out of the cruel word I was forced to get used to, that’s how I met my best friend Clint Barton aka Hawkeye” Natasha smiled fondly at the thought of Clint_

_And continued “I have never had someone care for me in my life beside you and I was scared he was going to leave me like you did, wherever he went I went I became like an overprotecting and overbearing shadow for almost a year and he let me he never once complained but then one day we were In a mission in Algeria I got so scared that he was going to get hurt I almost got us both killed, he just sat me down and told me enough is enough he told me that I needed to find myself outside of shield outside of the killings outside of the Red Room and also outside of him, he told me that the only way I would ever be whole again is that I needed to Look for the parts missing and he also told me that me and him were for life but I didn’t believe him until he showed me one of his biggest secrets something so precious and he trusted me with it, the next day I requested a solo mission.” her voice was steady but it carried a hint of gratitude it seemed_

_“Did you find yourself?” asked Bucky_

_“truthfully I am still looking, and I think I’ll never be 100 per cent whole not after the red Room and with all the blood on my hands but I learned to become myself regardless of who I was before shield and the red room, I guess I thought-think that I deserve to be the person that I am now and not try to be as I was before, people are constantly changing the You from five years before is not the current You and that rules applies to normal people, so it’s much more accurate with us” said Natasha honestly_

_Bucky just nodded in acknowledgment so Natasha continued_

_“I need you to get better, I need you to help Steve getting better maybe make him go see a therapist along side you” casually suggested Natasha._

_James sighed and ran a hand over his overly-still Cold-Long hair closing his eyes “okay”_

_“Okay?”_

_“Okay yes I can do that, I mean the guy sacrificed everything so he can save me including his friend so I owe him to at least be there for him” Bucky let out a self-deprecating laugh “god we’re the poster children of fucked up”_

_“James-“ began to refute Natasha only to be interrupted by Bucky_

_“You know it’s true, anyway are you sure don’t need me to go with you to help Stark?”_

_Natasha knew he was deflecting but she allowed it “No it’s for the best you don’t see each other right now especially after Siberia”_

_“Yeah you probably right” agreed Bucky miserably, he didn’t even know Stark so why was there a knot in his stomach whenever he thought of the man, James shook his head not wanting to pursue that line of thought._

_Natasha got up from her seat and made her way to the door “Come on James, I’ll go say my goodbyes to the Team”_

_James sighed “I’ll stay here for a bit, just until I get my bearings I am not ready to meet the team yet, just for an hour or two”_

_Natasha gave a little nod and hugged Bucky “I’ll see you soon James”_

_The man in question hugged her back fiercely “Yeah, take care of yourself little spider”_

_“You too” replied Nat and with that she was gone._

* * *

_The Black Widow made her way towards the communal Rooms where as expected the ex-Avengers were, bags hanging over her shoulder, Sam and Scott were in the middle of a conversation while Steve was playing chess with Wanda whereas Clint was watching her with assessing eyes from where he was lying on the couch._

_“So that’s it you’re just going to abandon us too?” accused Clint with a bitter tone, their relation had known its ups and downs but this time it was different she didn’t know if they could recover what they had, she squashed the sadness that was threatening to overwhelm her and asked evenly “Too?”_

_Clint Sat up from the couch abruptly as if he was just waiting for the occasion the maul her, by now the room was eerily silent all eyes on them, she didn’t care._

_“Yes, as I recall you were siding with the Asshole or better yet ‘The merchant of death’ a fitting name might I add before you abandoned him, at least you came to your senses even though a little bit late, and here I thought your switching days were over, guess it’s a hard habit to break, let me tell you disappointment doesn’t even cover what I am feeling right now”._

_“Clint-” Tried to intervene Sam before they say something they’ll regret._

_“No, Sam she needs to hear this if we’re meant to trust her ever again, for fucking sake she sided with a psychopath instead of us, instead of me, who does that ? but guess I shouldn’t be surprised coming from a person like you”_

_ouch._

_Natasha wanted to give as much as she got but she knew she’ll only make things worse and she refused to hurt her best friend, she knew he was only lashing out because he was genuinely hurt, he reminded her of To-_

_‘Jesus Christ of fucking course how could she have been so blind, that stupid self sacrificing son of a bitch made her leave his side to protect her, she went against the very accords she had just signed and assaulted a king, Ross would’ve had enough ammunitions to make her disappear for good’ realized Natasha._

_A fresh wave of guilt crashed through her, Tony always took care of the people he cared about even the ones who hurt him, she vowed right then and there to make it up for him even if she spent the rest of her life doing it._

_“Natasha, are you okay?” asked Wanda hesitantly breaking Natasha out of her thoughts_

_Widow looked at her and nodded and turned her piercing gaze towards Clint, she plastered a deadly sweet smile before she turned and left without another word._

_Romanoff was met by two Dora Milaje outside of the castle without a word she climbed the jeep._

_3 hours later Natasha found herself on the northern Wakandan Border, with only a nod towards the two Doras as a thank you she got out of the vehicle and made the rest of the way on foot, making sure to keep an eye out while she made her way to breach the Eritrean border._

_She had to make it right._

_She just had to._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // Happy thanks giving to all Americans //


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the LOOOOOOOOOONG wait :/

Tony was Tweaking on the B.A.R.F device when Rhodey entered the workshop, the device had showed some minor glitches during Tony’s last trip to memory lane but other than that it was working perfectly, but the engineer was still hesitant to commercialize it, at least not yet.

 

At the sound of the doors opening Tony turned to see his friend come in through the Workshop’s doors.

 

“Hey honeybunch” Smiled Tony at his best friend who was walking normally.

 

Rhodey had become more and more at ease with the exoskeleton, aside from the small bulk around his legs you couldn’t even tell that he was using anything to help him walk, the exoskeletons have come a long way from the original version, they’re sleeker, lighter, stronger and more in-sync with the body.

 

The R.H.O.D.E.S exoskeletons will be the first generation of Stark Industries new branch Stark Biotech’s products line, they’ll revolutionize the market and Tony couldn’t be prouder, finally something he made that’ll help make people’s lives a lot better, SI’s Board have been kissing his ass for the last month as they knew that this will propel Stark Industries to a whole new level, but what Tony was most proud of aside of the R.H.O.D.E.S in itself was that they were going to release them in the next few months at an affordable price, so that everyone can have access to it. And it’s only the beginning, Tony has already started on specs of some very advanced Prosthetic Arms, not as strong or dangerous as the one he destroyed in Siberia.

 

Tony cringed at that memory, he understood now that maybe, just _maybe_ it wasn’t Sargent James Buchanan Barnes’s fault, at least not entirely.

 

He was just another Victim and Tony regretted immensely attacking him and almost killing him, but that didn’t mean he doesn’t still hate him, okay maybe hate is a strong word.

At least something good came out of the multiple confrontations with the Winter Soldier, he wouldn’t have made this much progress on the arm prosthetics if it weren’t for them and the various footages from D.C, and to honor that Tony planed on naming the prosthetics B.A.R.N.E.S.

  
“You called?” Asked Rhodey coldly and he almost regretted it when he saw the smile fall from Tony’s face, but he wasn’t going to pretend, not anymore.

 

“hm, yes? I wanted to talk to you about something” answered Tony, a little bewildered by his friend’s tone before he remembered why Rhodey was like this.

 

“Oh, _come_ _on_ baby-cakes you can’t still be mad about that, I thought we settled it” whined Tony throwing his hands in exasperation.

 

And apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because Rhodey just laughed a mirthless laugh

“Mad, I am not _mad_ , I am shocked, hurt and a little bit betrayed, what I am is disappointed and at loss of what to do and _No_ we didn’t _settle_ it, you just stormed out of the room leaving me and Vision open mouthed because what could we have said at that moment” Said Rhodey and with each word it seemed his anger burned a tad stronger.

 

“ **No**. Do _not_ interrupt me Stark” snapped Rhodey when he saw Tony about to open his mouth.

 

“I just want to know why, I want to know _why_ you keep doing this to yourself she betrayed you. _Again_. And yet you keep going back for seconds” he was full on yelling now throwing his arms around in clear frustration.

 

“She betrayed _us_ when we needed her the most, not only did she let Rogers and Barnes go, but she assaulted a _King_ while doing so, do you even know how much shit we could face just for that alone.”

 

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his wild untamed hair.

 

“Look babe, I _know_ all that believe me I really _really_ do, I was there for all of it but man I can’t just abandon her now she- “

 

“- _She_ abandoned you, why can’t you return the favor man.” retorted Rhodey

 

“Because I _still_ care Rhodey, as much as I hate to say it, I _still_ care for Na-Romanov, for _all_ of them even Rogers… but don’t misunderstand what I am saying I _never_ want to see them again, I would rather work with _Justin Hammer_ than work with any of them and you know how much I loathe that asshole, but I still care for them and I can’t _not_ do anything when one of them is in danger.” Said Tony desperation creeping in his voice.

 

Before Rhodey can say anything, Tony continued “- and like I said before I really want to move on, but I cannot do so if I don’t fix all this shit storm, I can’t move forward without settling the score of this civil War Non-sense, I need to move forward with you and Vision but I cannot do so if I have to constantly look over my shoulder waiting something to bite my ass, and _not_ in a fun way”

 

Rhodey kept silence for a while studying Tony before he nodded in relucted acceptance.

 

“Okay”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah, so what do you need us to do?” asked Rhodey

 

“No Rhodey there is no _us_ this time, we’re still under surveillance from Ross and we can’t jeopardize ourselves, so you and vison need to stay out of it, and please do not argue with me on this Rhodes, the less you know the better, please buddy just trust me on this”

 

James Sighed in defeat, he knew that there was no need to argue with Tony on this, he’ll just have to trust him to come to him if he needed help.

 

“Alright, so what did you call me for” asked Rhodey, curious now that his blood wasn’t boiling from anger, because the last time Tony asked him to come to the workshop was to show him the exoskeleton that he created for him, and they have been a blessing, a miracle that enabled Rhodey to start regaining little by little his autonomy, and he’ll be forever grateful to have a friend like Tony in his life, he honestly couldn’t imagine his life without the loud obnoxious big hearted genius mess of a man, and contrary to popular belief Rhodey needs Tony in his life just as much as Tony needed him if not more, and it only became more apparent after he lost his ability to walk.

 

At the question, Tony’s whole body lit up in excitement.

 

“Okay Look Rhodey, I don’t want you to be mad. Again.”  Said Tony raising his hands in a placating way, Rhodey began to fidget wearily thinking about what could possibly make Tony nervous and his mind began spiraling to worse case scenarios, Tony seemingly sensing his friend’s turmoil quickly amended himself

 

“Oh god no Rhodey, this is a good news a _very_ good news actually- it’s just going to shock you a teensy tiny little bit and I will need you to sit down first before I tell you this _very_ good news, sit down and relax and I am totally not freaking out right now, I am mildly overexcited and maybe a little scared you’re going to be mad at me for going behind your back- no pun intended I wouldn't joke about your inj-“ rambled Tony but was abruptly cut off by Rhodey

 

“Tony _breath_ , and please out with it, you're scaring me” said Rhodey before he took a seat on the stool beside him.

 

Tony closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

 

“Okay, remember the whole fuck fest with the mandarin and extremis?” Asked Tony

 

“Vaguely” replied Rhodey dryly, He still had nightmares about a certain fire breathing asshole.

 

“Sass, you're sassing me, okay I can work with that” exclaimed Tony agitatedly.

 

Rhodey only raised an eyebrow in question but remained silent to let his friend get to the point.

 

“Jesus this is harder than I thought, Okay I’ll just say it, get it done like a bandage.” Tony let out a deep breath and faced Rhodey.

 

“After Pepper was injected with extremis I managed to stabilize it but the virus has changed her DNA to the core and thus I couldn’t get rid of it completely so I made it permanently dormant, you already know all this of course” Rhodey nodded his assent

 

“Anyway, what you _don’t_ know, what _nobody_ knows is that I still had two flasks of the original Virus stored away, and I guess I forgot about it what with the S.H.I.E.L.D fall, the Civil War and everything in between” Rhodey frowned at that.

 

“Okay, you stored a little bit of extremis can’t say I am surprised but I still don’t understand where this is going” said Rhodey with a confused expression.

 

“Well after Siberia, I was a mess and I frankly didn’t how or _if_ I was going to pull myself out of it, and there was a lot eating me out but the main thing was how I was responsible for my best-friend to lose his ability to walk” Rhodey opened his mouth to refute the statement but was cut off by a wave of a hand from Tony “Just let me get this out Rhodey, okay?”  


“Yeah, okay”

  
“I dedicated every single minute possible to finding a solution for you to gain back at least a semblance of motor skills, which is where the Stark biotech Branch was born, and as I was in very bad place I might have gone a little overboard with my creation spree and I managed to  create so many products beside the S.B stuff that it would probably easily supply S.I  patents for the next 5 years, okay I am getting off topic here, what I was trying to say is that three weeks ago I was looking through some of my old unfinished projects and I stumbled upon the extremis flasks. And well I started working on it to stabilize it and maybe reprogram it to be a little more ephemeral.”

 

Rhodey’s eyes now were wide open but his expression still held warily, he had an idea where this was going but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. “What are you trying to say Tony?” asked Rhodey with a strained voice.

 

Tony gave his brother a watery smile.

 

“I managed to reprogram extremis to work on regenerating cells without rewriting our DNA and certainly not turn you into the hotter version of Daenerys Targaryen”

 

The former Air Force Colonel put a hand on his mouth in disbelief.

 

“What I am trying to say Babe is that I found a way to give you your legs back for good, I managed to render the Virus Ephemeral, it will basically target every anomaly in your body and fix it by helping the cells regenerating more rapidly and efficiently and it will be flushed out of your body completely 24 hours after the injection.”

 

Before Tony knew it Rhodey got up from the stool and brought the Genius into a kiss.

 

Rhodey broke the kiss with a laugh that was probably half a sob then fiercely hugged the stunned engineer.

 

“Oh God you beautiful Genius, thank you, _thank_ you, oh my god” Rhodey buried his face onto Tony’s shoulder as he began to fully cry, Tony simply hugged his best friend Closer and held him tight until the sobs receded.

 

“Okay I am getting some mixed signals here Rhodey-bear, I remember clearly you turning me down when I prepositioned to you back in MIT, and I remember clearly how you said you were as straight as an arrow, and now you go and take my breath away with a simple kiss with no tongue no less” Said Tony lightly breaking the comfortable silence that settle around them.

 

Rhodey Snorted and began to pull away but Tony was having none of it, he pulled his brother back into his arms because as much as Rhodey needed it, Tony probably needed it more.

 

“I refuse to be Cersei in this relationship” Said Rhodey after a moment of silence before pulling away and tony let him.

 

Tony huffed a laugh “Don’t worry your pretty head honeybunch, you would definitely be Jamie in this equation, plus you don’t have enough awesomeness to pull off being Cersei”

 

“Oh and you do?” asked Rhodey with a raised eyebrow, his eyes were red from crying but his face oozed happiness and amusement.

 

“Damn straight I do” Replied Tony puffing his chest in the process.

 

James laughed and nodded “You damn right do Stank, you damn right do”

 

Tony groaned and let his head hang “I am never going to live that down, am I?”

 

“Nope”

 

Tony only smiled at his friend before his clapped his hands together and asked “So when do you want to do it?”

 

“As soon as possible” replied Rhodey eagerly.

 

“How about right now?”

 

“What, like _now_ now?” Asked Rhodey incredulously.

 

“Yeah, why not?”

 

“Well don’t you have like tests to run, or I don’t maybe check Extremis again to see if it’s safe or if it’ll work” replied Rhodey a little frantically he was clearly distressed and scared of getting his hopes up only to have them crash and burned later.

 

“Hey, hey believe me when I say this, I wouldn’t have brought it to you if I wasn’t a 100 percent sure it would work, I wouldn’t do that to you” answered Tony with a gentle voice.

 

“Okay, Okay yeah i-….  I just started to accept that I will never walk again without help, and now you’re telling me that you managed to make it possible for me to walk again, I don’t think I can make it if this doesn’t work” said Rhodes with a broken voice.

 

“I know honeybunch, but you got to trust me on this, it will work and you’ll be able to walk on your own again”

 

“I do, trust you I mean, I do trust you completely.” stated Rhodey confidently.

 

“Okay then, we’ll do it in your room because once extremis is injected it will immediately start the process and it takes a lot of energy to do so, which means that for the next 6 hours you need to stay bed ridden, alright?”

 

Rhodey only nodded as they made their way to Rhodey’s chambers.

 

Rhodey laid on his stomach with the help of Tony as soon as they made it to James’s bedroom.

 

“You said you had two flasks of the virus, the second one is for you right?” asked Rhodey voice full of hope.

 

A sense of love and gratefulness warmed Tony’s heart.

 

“Yeah buddy, it’s for me. I can’t inject it in me until I remove the arc from my chest and as soon as I am done with the Accords and the whole civil war bullshit, it will be the first thing I do” replied Tony wistfully.

 

“Good”

 

Tony pulled Rhodey’s T-shirt revealing his lower back and went to grab the needle full of a clear orangey liquid.

 

“As soon as Extremis is injected in your body you’ll feel tired and probably sleepy don’t worry it’s normal.” Said Tony as he inserted the needle in the uncovered skin of his best-friend’s back, as soon as Extremis was injected the skin around the needle puncture glowed a pale fiery orange before returning to the smooth dark color that had once enticed a young M.I.T genius, Tony pulled down the shirt before he spoke again.

 

“It would be preferable if you let yourself sleep, it would help the healing, F.R.I.D.A.Y and I will be monitoring you all the time, I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep but then I have to go back to the workshop, I think I might have traced Natasha Back somewhere in Europe and I need to narrow it down, F.R.I.D.A.Y is projecting a live feed from your room in the workshop, and don’t get your panties in a twist the cameras are just for today, I don’t think you want a repeat of me walking on you in the middle of you… polishing your pole”

 

Rhodey Groaned and pushed his face deep in the pillow “I thought we weren’t going to talk about that anymore, and can you please stop calling my junk a pole”

 

“Hey, I call it as I see it because that thing between your leg is _definitely_ a pole.” Said Tony with a smirk all the while gesturing towards Rhodey’s crotch.

 

“Tony please-“began Rhodey only to be interrupted

 

“Frankly it’s a shame you are not into men, because it would have made our lives way easier, we would probably be married by now, and we would have mind-blowing sex.”

 

“Oh god” Groaned Rhodey “Can you please stop, I am begging you just stop”

 

“Yeah okay I’ll stop, but only because begging looks good on you.”  Tony and promptly ducked at the pillow James send his way.

 

“Damn it tony” yelled James, his voice barely concealing his amusement.

 

“ _Fine_ sour-puff, I’ll stop. No more making fun of your straightness, I got it.”

 

“I never thought my best-friend would be a bigot, nothing but a heterophobic asshole.” Said Rhodey voice dripping with sarcasm.

 

Tony only shrugged before he answered “I just don’t understand man, how can you choose to only want women when you can have the best of both worlds”

 

Rhodey rolled his eyes “I didn’t _choose_ to be this way, I was _born_ this way.”

 

They looked at each other intensely for a few moments before they broke in fit of laughter.

 

As the amusement died down Rhodey looked at Tony seriously “How did you even know that Romanov was in trouble?”

 

Tony sighed “I’ve been keeping tabs on them, _all_ of them, so if they screw up somehow, and be sure they will, I would be ready for the backlash and consequences that would come knocking on our doors, because god knows _they_ don’t care about the aftermath of their actions, I managed to make an algorithm that can use cameras like CCTV, phones, drones, dashcams, and whatever recording device from all over the world to track and trace anyone’s itinerary, that’s how I found out that Natasha was heading somewhere in Europe, but I couldn’t trace her completely because, well it’s Natasha and she’s scary good, but I always managed to have a glimpse at her like every week or so, but now it’s been a month and I think she’s been taken, so I am running simulations and algorithms to get me the probabilities of her itineraries and I can compare them to some of the footages I have, which would help me find her and if necessary get her out. Look the algorithm is kind of secret, like the only people in the Know are me and F.R.I.D.A.Y. and now you, I don’t like it, it’s a severe breach of privacy and it could do so much damage in the wrong hands, so I am thinking of destroying it after I find Natasha.”

 

Rhodey seems to contemplate everything that Tony told him before he nodded “ I think you’re right about the need to destroy the algorithm, I can easily picture what kind of harm

It could cause and it _is_ a breach of privacy, and I am proud of you for knowing it, as for Natasha like you said she’s scary good, I think she can handle herself, if not that’s what the rest of her team are for, maybe you can give the information to them and let them handle it”

 

“And risk causing international incident, I don’t think so”

 

“Tony- “

 

“No Rhodey this is something I’ll have to do on my own, it’s the least risky way to do it without painting a target on our backs, as soon as I get a viable hit on her location I’ll take a small Quinjet and head over there, I’ll just need you to cover for me if Ross or anybody else ask about me”

 

“Yeah Okay, I…-Just be careful, promise me you’ll be careful Tony” pleaded Rhodey with heavy eyes as the serum began to work its wonders.

 

“I promise Sugar-Bear, now sleep and don’t worry because in just a few hours you’ll have your legs back babe” said Tony before he kissed his brother’s forehead.

 

Rhodey only smiled sleep got the better of him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter, i love Rhodey and i hated seeing him hurt in the Movie...   
> anyway comments are a writers fuel ... GIMMEEEEEE


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